Growing up, I believed I was meant to be a teacher. From elementary school, through high school and college, I pictured myself this sweet, young teacher growing into an old, warty veteran teacher that the kids prayed not to have. But after only three years, I have decided my teaching career is up. I might not be the old lady I pictured myself becoming, but I am certainly a young veteran.
This decision was not easy nor did it happen overnight. I finally figured out the perfect word to describe my tossing and turning career dilemma – I had outgrown my profession. This had been something I saw glimmers of right from the start but I forced myself to ignore it. I told myself things like, “No! This is what I am meant to do.” “I could never do something different.” “People will think I am crazy, I went to college to do this!” These lacklustre thoughts were my attempts to convince myself that I was doing what I was destined to do. I was talking myself into my career at 24 years old.
I tried to further convince myself by developing side jobs. I thought this would be a simple solution to further any doubts. I sold funky costume jewelry at trunk shows to fill my fashionista side. I was an assistant event planner at a rustic speakeasy turned event hall to fill my inventive, planning side. I was a bartender to fill my social, people person side. I thought I could fill that gaping career hole by occupying my time with other “passions.” Not only was I exhausted, but those passions only turned me more sour. I had no inner motivation to find happiness in my career – just motivation to blind myself of something I knew deep down. I was a scrambled, under slept, workhorse with no inner fulfillment at 24 years old.
It took me about a year and half for me to comfortably and confidently say, I am now creating my own career. The career I have known I am capable of developing. The career I know that I can grow with and expand with as a person. The career I am in control of. Now, I am an exuberant, hungry yet nervous, 25 year old, ready to become a fulfilled workhorse and to talk others out of their unsatisfying, stagnant careers and into their own creational careers.